So. It’s over.

All of it.

I was kind of thrown when Buffy ended. Unsatisfied and let down.

Right now?

I don’t feel sad.

Because that was the most incredible ending of a television show ever.

It could not be talked up enough.

It didn’t tie up any of Buffy - and rightly so - but it really was the perfect goodbye to the world that Joss Whedon created. Buffy and Angel were master classes in storytelling. More than anything else, it’s about the way that the telling has to change for the story. Angel got the ending it deserved.

There were a few things I wanted to see. One of them was an exploration of the team’s loyalty to Angel. I thought it would go the other way, honestly. I thought he’d be abandoned by everyone. The right call - and the more rewarding call - was everyone declaring their allegiance at the end of Power Play. Hey David Fury, I established that we’re best friends, right? This episode did a lot of heavy lifting to set-up for Not Fade Away and it was still supremely well done.

Chris doesn’t love that the Black Thorn is so important and gets introduced so late. I get that. But because they became a retroactive excuse for Lindsey’s actions, and because so many of them were recognizable faces from this season, it worked for me. Even if it was rewriting history it felt like the roots were there.

I totally called Angel faking it only to gain entry. I mean, I called it like five minutes before they told us…but still.

I was glad that Angel’s badness was a fake out. We’ve explored his evil side enough that even though it might have given the finale dark-cred to have our hero be our villain again…it wouldn’t have been what the show was really about. It was about Angel’s quest for what good means.

Hal said - and I clung to this hope even though I knew I might be disappointed - that every character got their goodbye. And they literally did. We saw every character say goodbye to their life on earth. I got weepy when Lorne started singing. It had been forever since we heard him. And what a subtly well-used character he was. I sometimes worried, especially this season, that Lorne drifted into Anya territory where he was routinely underused. But this episode - oh David Fury, you genius - called out that even though he was part of the gang he never signed on for the quest.

Okay. Time to get specific.

I love Lindsey’s death. Love it. A hundred times love it. I had no idea it was coming. I hadn’t really thought about why Lorne was so reluctantly accepting of the plan.

I had a moment when Gunn was in the Senator’s office where I was like “oh man. Gunn should turn into a vampire.” Turns out that happens in the comic. And was something they wanted to do on the show. I am giving myself points for that.

I don’t know why Nina was there. It didn’t bother me, but I don’t think her plot amounted to much. And especially when we were going to have Connor be Angels connection to this world, I was kind of lost.

Connor. I didn’t need him to come back, but I didn’t mind it. He felt a bit in the way during the final battle but, again, it didn’t bother me.

Spike. Man. They really found a way this season to make him a regular but only use him just enough. It took me a second to catch on to his poetry reading but what a perfect goodbye for that character. It wasn’t until they got to the word “effulgent” that I realized we had heard the poem before.

Illyria. got. so. cool. Once they took her power away - which I wish had happened sooner - and she’s stuck being more human she really started to interest me. And her desire to please Wesley in the kind of screwed up way of adopting Fred’s persona probably could have been explored for eons. And I completely bought her attachment to him and her beginning to experience human emotions. Illyria was the kickass female the show always needed. I’m glad it got that.

And Wesley. Okay. Sheesh. If they asked me, I could write a book…

It took me awhile to sign on for Wesley’s love for Fred. I still think they over-simplified it at the end - I think it was way more about his kind of messed up attitude toward women and less about her being a real love for him - but whatever they decided they committed to it.

In the same way that Angel was about Purpose and Redemption, Wesley was about Truth. Trying to find his Truth is what destroyed him at the end of Season Three and it’s been a recurring theme for his character throughout the show. So for him to choose to end his life with a lie - which I called, thank you very much - was perfect. No. Perfect. Capital “P.” (Also for “Pryce.”) And the moment was so perfect because as its happening you see Illyria crying. And you know that even if she can effect the physicality of Fred. Even if she can perform her voice and capture her speech, she’s not about acting. Its really Illyria crying because something in Wesley has touched her.

I can’t even articulate what that ending did to me. It just wrecks you. Wesley absolutely had to die. At that point everyone had to die - and I wanted that because that makes the ending so bold. You have to make good on Angel’s declaration to everyone in his office. This is the last battle. But even though I wanted Wesley to die, even though the character had come so far - it still feels like “cut down in his promise.” I cried quietly when Tara died. I snuck into Brett’s entryway and sobbed when we lost Buffy (the second time.) But Wesley’s death? It can only be called wailing. Awful, disgusting, hysterical wailing. I wasn’t moved by the Fred/Wesley connection the way it might have been intended. It wasn’t about seeing lovers reunited. It was about seeing a broken, beaten, defeated warrior dying a meaningless death but getting the glimmer of love that he had never experienced in his real life.

If Hal is to be believed, the final moment is somehow divisive among fans. That makes me want to slam my head into something. The entire series was about The Fight. What we fight, how we fight, what it means to fight and that ultimately, whether or not you’re in control of your own destiny, all you can do is fight. You can’t end panting and successful. Or down and defeated. You have to end with swords drawn.

And more specific than The Fight, the show was about the question of how important hope should be. The whole story is summed up in Anne’s response to Gunn. You keep on doing what you’re doing, even when you know the outcome is hopeless.

Superb.